Couples therapy/counseling

So here’s where it gets “therapeutic.” This is a bit more of a resume.

I got my Master’s Degree from the University of Northern Colorado in 2005. The degree is “Community Counseling, Emphasis: Marriage and Family Therapy.” I’ve been licensed in Colorado since 2007. Since then, I’ve added licenses in Pennsylvania, Iowa, and Alaska.

I started my career in juvenile corrections, the sweaty crotch of American mental health care. I was there 6 years. Then I did 10 years auditing child welfare. What this means for you? Well, I’m pretty hard to shock, and I tend to stay very calm. I mean, if you’re not going to shank me, I’m not going to get agitated.

I’ve been in private practice since 2013, with my focus being helping couples. I also see individuals and families.

There are a lot of types of couples therapies out there, so it can be hard to figure out which is the right one for you.

My original training included the following types of couples therapy: Communication/Validation (Virginia Satir), Structural (Salvador Minuchin), Narrative, Cognitive-Behavioral, Systemic.

I decided in 2015 that I needed more skills to help couples, so I decided to pursue Gottman Method training. John Gottman started conducting research into couples in 1969, and this research continues to this day. If you want to check it out, here you go: www.gottman.com

Gottman Method Couples therapy is considered by many in the field to be the Gold Standard. I’ve found it to be incredibly effective.

There are 3 levels of training, and Certification is a separate (and lengthy) process. I’ve done all of that and am a Certified Gottman Therapist. I’ve also completed specialized training in Affair Recovery, Addictions, and Mental Illness within couples.

So what happens in couples therapy?

There are two phases of couples therapy:

  1. Intake/Assessment - this includes an extensive online relationship survey and 4 sessions. The first session is with both people. The second and third are individual sessions. The fourth session is with both of them again. By the end of the fourth session, we have developed a treatment plan and are all on the same page with goals and priorities

  2. Intervention - this is when I teach you the skills you need to have a more loving and peaceful relationship. This phase of therapy has two purposes: increase your understanding of yourself, your partner, and your interactions; and change the behaviors that are causing problems. Yes, you’ll work on managing conflict, but you will also learn ways to laugh more, have more fun together, and create rituals that will keep you happy for years to come

Well, that is a pickle.

If you’re not sure about staying in the relationship, then Discernment Counseling can help you clarify and feel confident about whether to end the relationship or if you want to try Couples Therapy. Find out about Discernment Counseling here

But what if I’m not sure I even want this relationship?